“Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you.” -1 Peter 5:7
I just got back from a road trip to visit my husband’s mom. Before we left, I made my husband promise me that either him or I would drive, and not his older brother who was also taking the trip with us. Not because his brother is a bad driver, but because I get horrible anxiety anytime we travel. Not just to the next town over or a drive we make regularly, but when we go on a long trip. This time we were going 16 hours away and we were going to be driving overnight to make it easier on the kids. So, yeah, my anxiety was in full effect.
One would think that with my husband driving, I could relax and sleep with the kids, especially since I am 7 months pregnant. Any normal person would. But I find it nearly impossible. I have to keep my eyes on the road in case my husband misses something and I have to watch the speedometer and “remind” him of how fast he is going and I have to keep my husband talking so he doesn’t fall asleep. Really, the only one of those I should be doing is keeping my husband awake. The rest just aren’t my jobs. So why do I have such a hard time letting my husband do his job and just be content to do mine?
Control. Yes, I am a bit of a control freak. I said it. I feel like I have to have my hand in everything and be a part of every little detail or it won’t go right. Which results in me having serious stress and anxiety about the littlest things-like traveling. In reality, I can’t control anything from the passenger seat. Yes, if my husband starts to fall asleep I can get his attention and we can pull over, but beyond that there’s really nothing I can do. My husband is the driver. I am just along for the ride.
I think this carries over quite a bit into my spiritual walk with God. Because I have such a hard time being a passenger in life it is often hard for me to just “let go and let God.” I try to rein Him in to do my will, when in reality I should be more concerned about doing His will. His way is perfect and He knows the best course of action and the best decision for me. He knows me better than I know myself. I would do well to be content with being a passenger and letting God drive. It’s when I try to rush ahead and control everything that I get into trouble.
Anyways, back to our trip. It was about an hour before sunrise and we had already driven for about 10 hours straight. My husband was tired. I was tired (and cranky). We stopped at a travel center to get some breakfast and then my brother-in-law was going to drive so my husband and I could get some sleep. I got into the backseat and for the first half hour I was constantly checking over the driver’s shoulder, looking at the speedometer and making comments about what the speed limit was. I was driving everyone crazy and I was making myself sick to my stomach. That’s when I decided to do the smartest thing yet. I prayed. I sat back there in my seat and talked to God, asking Him over and over again to just keep us all safe and let us get to grandma’s house safely. And you know what? After a little while of that, I felt peace. Jesus came and calmed my storm of anxiety and let me know that He was in control, and no matter what happened He was there and we would all be alright. I could finally get some sleep and be the passenger that I should have been all along. Jesus showed me that morning that He is the Master of the storm, and He is in control. It’s okay to let go and enjoy the ride.
photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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