Valentine’s Day is over. The candies and decorations have gone on clearance. We have all gone back to our normal, not so romantic lives. But that doesn’t mean we should let that spirit of love slip away.
According to the CDC, the divorce rate here in the USA is right at 50%. For every 1000 people, 6.8 will get married, and 3.4 will get divorced. Those statistics are so sad, and I think it shows how important it is to work on your marriage. I just want to say, before I go any further, that I fall into those statistics. I got pregnant and married in high school, and unfortunately that marriage ended in divorce. I know the heartache that comes with a family falling apart. I am determined to not let that happen with my marriage again.
I would hope that half of all people who go to the marriage altar aren’t expecting to end up divorced a few years later. Yet that is what happens. Life gets in the way. We have jobs, kids, numerous other obligations that take time away from connecting with our spouses. Often times, relationships between husband and wife are left on the back burner to simmer out and dry up. Sometimes we don’t even realize there’s a problem until we see the smoke.
How can we prevent our marriages from falling apart? I think a key is to remember why we fell in love in the first place.
Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your husband? How about the first time you had a conversation? What about your first date?
Did you have butterflies in your tummy and have a hard time figuring out what to say? Were you constantly checking yourself in the mirror to make sure you looked your best?
How about the first time he looked in your eyes and said he loved you? I’ll bet it was a momentous occasion that you played over and over again in your head, smiling every time you thought of it.
It’s so important to recapture that feeling in your marriage now, long after the novelty has worn off. What did you and your husband like to do together when you first met? I remember that we used to go the 7-11, get Slurpees and beef jerky, and go to the park and play basketball. Sometimes we would throw a softball around. Even now, when we play around outside we get that flirty behavior back and really enjoy each others company. Make an effort to bring back memories of the early days of your love. Even just talking about when we first met will soften my heart to him and make me love him more.
Do you notice that your are cuddling with your man less? I know that when we first got together, we used to always sit close to each other, lay by each other, and cuddle-whether we were watching a movie or just hanging out. Now that we are married with 5 kids, he has his spot on the couch and I have mine. We don’t cuddle as much as we used to. I think we are both just so tired at the end of our busy days that we just want to zone out and unwind. But touch is so important! When we cuddle, our brains release love hormones, and decrease stress. Oxytocin is released, deepening the bond between two people. Our marriages need cuddle time! Make it a point to cuddle with your man more.
What are some other ways that you keep the love alive in your marriage? I would love to hear about them in the comments.
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