From Teenage Drug Addict into the Arms of God

From Teenage Drug Addict Into the Arms of God

I was addicted to drugs at a young age. The first time I ever got drunk was when I was 13, and it was all downhill from there.

By 14 I was a regular stoner and smoked a few packs of cigarettes a week. 14 was also the age that I first did coke. It probably wasn’t a surprise to anyone I knew that I ended up pregnant at 15 and a half, a mom at 16.

If only my addiction had stopped there. But it didn’t.

My ex and I would do coke and party all weekend, then fight as he tried to find a job all week. When my daughter was about 10 months old, I moved out and back in with my mom and met a new guy. Not a better guy, just a new one.

This guy introduced me to meth, which was to become my BFF for the next 3 years. It was during this time that I did some of the most depraved, wicked things you could think of. Luckily I didn’t drag my precious daughter through the fire with me-my mom took care of her during this lowest of all lows in my life.

But the meth. It consumed my soul. It owned me. I was a slave to the drug. A willing victim to it’s power over my life. There is so much I could write about this time of my life, a whole books worth, and maybe someday I will.

For this post though, I want to focus on how God led me and protected me, even when I was running as fast as I could away from Him.

There were many times during those spun out years that I found myself in some extremely dangerous situations with some really bad people.

In one particular instance, I found myself driving off from a friends house with a guy I had just met 5 minutes ago to go get high. (Unfortunately, this wasn’t a rare occurrence.) Later, when I wanted to go home, he decided to drive in the opposite direction, up a lonely mountain road. He kept driving until well after dark when he pulled over and stopped the car. I immediately knew something was up and wanted to run, but there were no houses nearby and no streetlights. Plus I had no idea where we were. I watched out the rearview mirror as I saw his shadowy figure grab something out of the back of the truck and come around to my side. I looked down and grabbed the only thing I saw, a big Mag Lite flashlight and shone it right in his face as he opened my door. I don’t know whether I startled him or whether something else changed his mind, because he started making these weird bull sounds and walked back around the truck and we drove off. Instead of driving me back home though, he took me to some little trailer on someone’s property where I sat in the corner with that flashlight watching him pace back and forth. He occasionally ran his foot across the floor like a bull getting ready to charge and making weird animal sounds. He finally passed out and I ran out of there and somehow found a ride back home. I later found out that he was mentally unstable (you think!) and dangerous.

Another time, a so-called friend had ditched me at a strangers house to go off with some guy, and instead of staying there I took off walking in the middle of the night. I ended up at some gas station about 30 minutes from home. After sitting there for quite a while, a guy in one of those old hippy vans pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride. I took it, he ended up taking me straight where I needed to go, and he was so sweet-he even had a dog. I don’t remember what we talked about because I had my guard up. I can tell you that he must have been Heaven sent because even now when I think about it I feel very peaceful, like I was definitely safe.

In the interest of keeping this blog post fairly short, those are the only 2 instances I will write about, but there are at least 10 more I can recall off the top of my head. Instances where something really bad should have happened to me and was going to-but for some reason or other it didn’t. And also instances where the right person came along at the right time and helped me out.

I don’t believe in luck-I truly believe and know in my heart that it was God looking out for me, even when I wanted nothing to do with Him. My life could have turned out so very differently, and I have heard many horror stories of girls going missing or being killed in the exact same circumstances I found myself in time and time again. The only explanation is God. He was waiting for me to come to Him, and sheltering me from the worst until I got there.

In Susan B. Mead’s book, “Dance With Jesus,” she talks about a little girl who claims to have seen revelations from Heaven and paints marvelous paintings. She quotes the girl as saying,

“Sometimes we meet certain angels that appear like humans, and we don’t know it. Many of us have been saved from many accidents, and we don’t know it either.”

And the Bible says in Hebrews 13:3- “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” (KJV)

I don’t know why God chose to protect me during those years, especially when so many people perish or never get away from the drugs. I do know that if I had died in that time, Heaven would not have been my destination. I am so grateful He brought me through those times and into His arms.

You might find me linked up to some of these blogs.

  • LB Present

    What an honest post! I always appreciate honest posts, but I especially love those about struggle and getting through. I send healing and gratitude wishes your way πŸ™‚

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you very much. It has been about 13 years since this time in my life, and I am just getting to where I can write about it. I’m sure there will be more posts in the months to come as God has definitely laid another one on my heart. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!

      • LB Present

        Much support to you in your recovery! πŸ™‚

  • Miss Steph

    Thank you for being brave enough to share your story!

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you for reading and commenting!

  • Victoria H

    I am glad that you were able to make it out. I also don’t have the best past so I know what a struggle it is to do a 360 with your life. I can imagine it was really hard to share your story, however, those who are dealing with struggles now may just find your post to be the strength that they need to live a better life.

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      That is my hope!

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  • Kristi Woods

    I’m thanking our Father for protecting you and bringing you into his arms as well, Miranda. You are well worth it. You’ve been very brave, offering your transparency and praises to God. Keep walking with Jesus, girl, keep walking. πŸ™‚ #dancewithJesus

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you so much!

  • Rebecca

    What a wonderful testimony of God’s saving power !!! So glad that you listened to the voice of God. Blessings. Visiting from Susan Meads

  • Karren Haller

    It is Gods loving hand that touched your life at those times when you were at the lowest points. The strength that you have gained by being drawn to God is now helping you to share your experiences with others. May you continue your healing journey! Thank you for stopping by Friday Features to share your blog post.
    Blessings, Karren

  • Denise Oldham

    such a beautiful testimony, bless you.

  • Candace Creates

    I was a drug addict for 17 years, meth consuming me for a few of those. I can so relate to you here. I absolutely can’t agree with this more: “The only explanation is God.” He has got to be the reason I survived those years as well. There is no other possibility. I too put myself in harm’s way again and again, but by the grace of God, made it out alive. May you continue to find strength in your recovery. Keep sharing your story. There are many out there who need to hear from us :).

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience here as well. I love hearing about others who were able to get away from that lifestyle by the grace of God.

  • Barbie

    I am so thankful for how God protected you and drew you to Him in that season. Thank you for sharing a part of your redemption story at The Weekend Brew!

  • Lori Schumaker

    Thanking God for protecting you and for the day you met Him and asked Him into your heart! I will be praying for your continued healing! I’m so glad I got the opportunity to hear your story at #DancewithJesus!
    Blessings and smiles,

  • MB

    Praise God that He kept you safe and you were able to meet Jesus! πŸ™‚

  • bethwillismiller

    WOW! What a precious, open, honest and transparent post! You have a wonderful testimony, I’m sure many people will be affected by it, and God will receive all the glory. Many blessings to you and your little girl!

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you so much. She is now 15! Not so little anymore πŸ™‚ and God has blessed us with 4 more children since. I am so thankful God brought me through or I wouldn’t have these blessings in my life now.

  • Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom

    I love hearing testimonies! I love how God embraced you, protected you, and saved you! What a powerful testimony. I thank God for keeping you safe.

    Thank you for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.

  • Angie Agerter

    Your amazing – and I am so happy that God helped save you through a very rough time because if he hadn’t I doubt I would ever had the chance to get to know you. *hugs*

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      You are so right, I doubt I would even be alive. So thankful for Him!

  • Mary

    Your testimony is powerful! Thank you for sharing this words at The Weekend Brew.

  • Amanda Dunville

    My Mom used to pray with us every night as a child asking Jesus to send angels to camp around us. I was in some sketchy situations during my college years where I didn’t feel safe too. Thankfully even after a drive by shooting, I didn’t have a scratch. Feel like I was protected even when I wasn’t trying to protect myself. You never know God’s plan, and I am so happy that you are able to share this testimony with us.

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      In my Bible reading this morning, I came across the verse that says that God’s ways are higher than our ways (in Isaiah), and it is so true. We may never know this side of Heaven all that God protected us, or even all the good that came out of those times. I do know that God can use everything for good, even our mistakes. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!

  • Melanie Redd

    Wow, Miranda. What a story. And, I am so thankful that God protected you and provided for you – even in the middle of your darkest season.

    I don’t believe in luck either; I believe we have a sovereign God who is well aware of everything and at work closely behind the scene of our lives.

    I pray He will use you and your story to greatly impact many others for the Gospel.

    Thanks for sharing from your life.
    Came over on Soul Survivor.
    Hope you have a blessed day~

  • Shauna Lynn

    Nothing like a testimonial! Thank you for sharing with us!

  • The Future Mrs. Vines

    Hi Hun! I know I’ve been away for a minute, but I have to tell you that your posts touch me so much. We have a lot more in common than you know. I sincerely appreciate your candidness in this post. If you’re not already aware, I’m not as “in-touch” with religion as I’d like to be, but you’re helping me get there.

    My past is behind me. I’ve done a total 360 myself, but you can never spin around too much to see a new enlightening view. I wake up every day hoping I can be a better person than the day before. Through you and my gals at Sublime I can do this!

    P.S. Bravo on becoming such an amazing, inspiring friend, woman, mother, wife and child of GOD, in no particular order.

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      I think religion isn’t so great sometimes, too. It is more about having a relationship with God and His Son, and accepting Him into your heart. Some of the greatest atrocities in history have been done in the name of “religion,” so I do understand your hesitation. Of course, I think church is important too πŸ™‚

      I am so happy to have met you ladies as well. Yay for leaving the past in the past!


    Thank you for telling us how great God is. Thank you for finally listening to Him and being able to tell this amazing story of Grace.
    Fridays Blog Booster Party #18


    Miranda, as this post was the last into Fridays Blog Booster Party #18 and not many got to read it, it will be put in first on Friday. We would love you to come and share more with us then.

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      Thank you very much!

  • Being Woven

    Sweet girl, God truly was with you and always will be now.
    One or many were most likely praying for you and God heard. Praise Him!
    When I have prayed for others who would be in dangerous situations such as you, such as military friends in Iraq, I have prayed that God protect them with His legions of angels. A legion could have been 6,000 to 12,000 in military terms back in Biblical days. Jesus said, β€œOr do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?” when He was being taken away. It has always been a wonderful picture for me when I pray for protection.
    Visiting from Jen’s and thankful I am your neighbor. You have reminded me of God’s mercy and protection and waiting at the door for us.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    • Miranda Gonzalez

      I have often wondered who was praying for me at that time, because I am certain people must have been. I can’t wait to get to Heaven and find out!

  • lisa pater

    What an amazing testimony. God is great. Always there even when we are running away…full of mercy and grace. Thank you for sharing your personal story. It will bring hope to many. God bless you and your family.

  • Nikki Frank-Hamilton

    Congratulations, my you be blessed indeed. My son is walking the same path, hopefully he will be able to resist his addiction in the future. God has saved him many times too, I am thankful. I believe that you may have a purpose, to help others with your words and your story. God bless you.

  • heidi

    Isn’t it great that we can move past all the mistakes we’ve made in life to better places?

  • Shellie Bowdoin

    God’s grace really is inconceivable. My guess is that you had someone praying for you. Now, you have a story to tell and a heart open to others who are experiencing the same pain. Thanks for sharing.


  • Kim Hilbert

    What a difficult journey, so glad you made it out.

  • michele

    This was heartbreaking for me to read. I have a daughter who went through the same things as you, she is better now. It was by far the toughest time of my life. God has something important planned for you. I am glad you are in a better place and wish you continued positive growth!

  • jody

    thanks for sharing. I’m so glad you’re a RA. I have two addicted daughters. One in rehab and one living here on suboxone. I write a lot about addiction and drugs. You have a great blog! Congrats!

  • Kelly Ninyette

    Well done for firstly overcoming your addiction and secondly, for being so honest and open about it. You are an inspiration Miranda. Stopping by from Turn it Up Tuesday

  • Emmymom

    Thank you for so honestly sharing your story. I have no doubt that as you do so and have done so, you will help more people than you ever realize.

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    Congratulations this post was in the TOP SIX most clicked on Fridays Blog Booster Party #19 and will be featured on Friday

  • Jenny @ Women With Intention

    What honesty and a great testimony! Thanks for sharing at Women With Intention Wednesdays!

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